The Healing Power of Sugar Read online

  He stood close to me, so his head was bent forward as he looked down at my face. “We’re young, Sang. I can’t forget that. We think we know what we want now, but in the future, that might change. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn’t put this off for a while, and see how we feel then.”

  The thought made my heart sink, and I was shaking my head before my brain could register his meaning. “I don’t understand,” I said. “I thought you wanted this.”

  “I want you to be happy, Sang,” he said. He reached out, putting a warm palm against my neck and holding me. “We haven’t really talked about this since last week.”

  “I kept meaning to talk to you,” I said. I touched my forefinger and thumb together inside my pocket, smoothing my skin, anxiety building in me at his words. “I should talk to Lily, too, but I don’t even know where to start.” Every time I tried, it was like I expected some magical solution that would have it all make sense to it. Nothing she said made me feel different. I felt stuck, wanting them to be sure, and not feeling stable enough to say I was into it until that point.

  North pressed his lips together and blinked slowly, considering. “Maybe you should talk to Luke,” he said.

  “I’m going to,” I said. “He’s probably having a tough time thinking through it.”

  “I mean, because I’m not really sure if you’re ready for this, either. Maybe this will be a dual purpose. You can find out together what you want.”

  I had to grit my teeth against the wave of sudden sadness that filled me. Did he not believe that I cared about him? Or that I cared about the rest of them? “I want you to be happy, too,” I said in a desperate tone, giving away more than I meant to.

  North sighed and then pulled his hands from his pockets and tugged me to him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and neck, pulling me into his chest.

  We hugged for a while, the warmth of his body against mine, my cheek against his chest. He pressed his face down toward the top of my head, his lips moving against my scalp when he spoke. “I will be,” he said, “but only if you’re happy.”

  I buried my face into his black T-shirt and tried to catch myself before I teared up. It felt wrong that he should wait to be happy. Wasn’t this what he wanted? For us to work together to bring the family closer? “I’m just so nervous,” I said. “I don’t know where to start with this. And it feels selfish to consider it. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  He held me tighter, the muscles in his arms firm around my shoulders. “No one does, Sang. No one. Relationships are always hard.”

  I sniffed, getting a lungful of his musk. I breathed it in again, finding comfort in his arms. “Even families,” I said, repeating something Mr. Blackbourne had told me. “Even friends.”

  “Even families and friends,” he echoed. He dipped his head down, until his nose buried into my hair and he kissed my scalp. “The really good relationships are extra hard. You have to put a lot of effort into it.” He lifted his head and pulled back enough that he could look at me. “I don’t mean to sound down. I’m just realistic. All of this really relies on you.”

  “Me?” I said.

  “What’s the point if you’re not into it?” he asked. “That’s the core issue. I think Mr. Blackbourne might have been wrong to wait to see if us guys were into this before we approached you about it. What would any of that matter if you weren’t at the heart of it?” He let go of my shoulder to lift my chin between his fingers. “I should have come to you first when we learned about it. Why put them all through this if you were never going to accept it?”

  I wasn’t sure if I could have handled that then or even now. I wanted to believe; I liked the idea but the execution was hard to picture. How would it work? What about jealousy? What if Kota wasn’t interested? There were so many questions, and with each additional guy that seemed to agree to it, the more complicated the puzzle became.

  The biggest concern I had was if they learned I was really interested that they might turn away, unwilling to try. There would be no going back and our relationships would change.

  North licked his lips and then opened his mouth like he was going to say something, when he looked up over my head. His eyes narrowed, head tilted slightly, like he was unsure what he was seeing.

  Suddenly his grip on me tightened, and he bared his teeth. “Shit,” he said.

  I started to turn. Was it McCoy? Had he gotten away? Was it one of Mr. Hendricks’s spies watching us? I was supposed to be hidden, but the street had been clear. We had meant to hurry along and I’d distracted us.

  I pulled myself free of his grasp, and looked around, trying to identify what was bothering him. I was looking out toward the street, but then realized he wasn’t looking at the street, but up at Kota’s front porch window.

  My heart stopped. Was it Kota? Had he seen? Would he be upset?

  But then I focused again. Somehow, I had missed the white mask hanging mid-pane on one of the windows, looking out at the street, as if placed there for Halloween. But Halloween was long past and the mask hadn’t been there before.

  I stepped back, into North, as if the face could turn and look at me. The mask stared blankly out at the street.

  North turned, looking at the second window on the other side of the door. Another mask was there, in the same position.

  North pulled away from me, going into the lawn. I followed, dreading it but also needing to see.

  I stood with him in the lawn, looking back at the house. Each window had a similar mask, including one on Kota’s upstairs bedroom. We were just up there. How did one get put up there?

  Several white masks looked back out at us. Every window had one.

  “Volto was here?” I asked, stepping closer to North, reaching for his hand. It was obvious Volto had been there, but I was hoping North would say it wasn’t true and that the masks had been there for another reason.

  Volto had a habit of leaving his calling card whenever he showed up lately. What did he want now?

  North looked at the different windows, frowning. “Kota, Nathan or Gabriel would have seen these when they came in. It had to have happened after they got here.”

  “Luke didn’t say anything about it when he left,” I said.

  North’s frown deepened. He put his hands on his hips and then looked toward the garage. “Max also didn’t bark.”

  I didn’t fully understand why this was important, but the intensity in North’s dark eyes struck right into my center. “Max?” I asked.

  He nodded toward the garage and I followed his gaze. Max was on his lead, padding around the driveway. The lead was long enough to allow him to start down the small sidewalk that led to the front steps. He couldn’t get far, but he would have noticed anyone out front.

  “He didn’t bark,” I said, considering North’s comment and turning back to look at the masks. “He knows whoever did this.”

  North shifted his jaw, grinding his teeth. “Luke left for the diner just a little while ago. I can’t picture Volto being able to do this after Luke left and keep Max from barking.”

  “Do you think Luke would do such a thing?” I asked. “This seems a little too far of a prank, even for him.” Luke had been upset, but was also very sweet. He would have known something like this was too serious to joke about.

  However, I considered the most logical answer, and I didn’t like the results. Luke had the ability to get up to Kota’s window quietly enough to not cause us alarm. Max knew Luke and wouldn’t have barked. Luke had access to masks, ones we’d collected from Volto when he’d left them behind. The more I thought about it, the more Luke seemed to be our best guess.

  North brushed a palm against his cheek. “I hate to say this, but I really hope it is Luke pulling a prank.” He turned his head, looking down at me. “I don’t want to think of the alternative.”

  “What’s that?”

  He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. “No. Don’t make me say it.”

  He turned toward the
house and jogged to it. He took one of the masks off the window. He flipped it over in his hands and checked it out.

  I glanced nervously at the road. I was spending a lot of time in the street, but I didn’t see any new cars driving up. I went to the steps, looking up at him, a little afraid to see for myself what he might be looking at. “Is there something there?”

  “Nothing,” he said. He looked at the other one on the opposite side of the door. He marched over and ripped it off. “Help me get these off.”

  We did the bottom row quickly, but Kota’s second-floor window was a little more complicated.

  As we stood on the lawn, considering how to get it down, I thought about the night, not too long ago, when Luke and I had climbed a roof very quietly. He could have done this. It saddened me to think he might have. He could get into some serious trouble, especially with Mr. Blackbourne.

  But if Luke hadn’t done it, it meant a host of other problems for us. It meant Volto was just as sneaky, and he could get past Max, which meant he’d spent some time here. That was too close.

  “I’ll have to go upstairs to grab it,” North said, still looking at the last mask. He went over to the trash cans and opened one of the lids, dropping the stack of masks inside before shutting it again. “I’m not sure if I want to draw attention to it now if Kota hasn’t noticed. Give me a minute to think about this. Let me get you to the diner.”

  “We should tell him.”

  “I know,” he said, gritting his teeth. “Just give me a minute to think about it. Luke’s in enough trouble, and if this is his way of getting back at us, things might be worse than we thought.”

  In a way, suddenly I understood why North had been grumpy with Luke. If Luke was messing up like this, maybe he was trying, in the only way he knew, to straighten Luke out. Would the Academy punish him somehow if he went too far? “What should we do?” I asked.

  He tugged me toward the street and over toward Nathan’s yard. “We don’t know who it was,” he said. “But I want you to do me a favor. Don’t confront Luke about this now. If you’re going out with him tonight, check his phone for evidence.”

  “Steal his phone? You mean look at the pictures?”

  “I’m really hoping he did this. But I also don’t want to yell at him, which I might not be able to help if I ask him directly. I don’t want to add to it if he’s feeling too much pressure and is lashing out at us. Pretend we walked quickly to the diner and didn’t even see it while leaving. We almost didn’t.”

  I was never good at lying, but I had to agree with him. “Okay,” I said. “But what if it is Volto?”

  “If he is back, there’s nothing to do about it now since we don’t know why or what the masks mean. Take off with Luke in my Jeep. Behave like normal but don’t run off alone anywhere. I’ll check in on you.” He sighed as he hurried around Nathan’s house, guiding the way through the woods. “God, though it’ll piss me off, I hope Luke did this. Otherwise things have gotten way more complicated.”

  I understood. If Volto was around and could slip in and around Kota’s house even with Max on patrol, we were really helpless to stop him and what might he do next? I snapped my fingers. “The cameras!” I exclaimed. “What about them? Doesn’t Kota have cameras at his house?”

  “They aren’t recording all the time,” he said. “There’s too many at all of our homes and they’re meant for us to check in, not record all the time. The only ones that record constantly are on Hendricks at the school. Or McCoy if his signal is in range, and they aren’t around.”

  I sighed. It was too bad. It would have been easy to at least try to identify who it was if they had been recording.

  “But maybe we need to start recording all the time,” North said, cutting through the woods to the path. He looked at me, reaching for my hand to assist me along. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

  I followed, leaves crunching under our feet, and the shadows of trees around us cooling the air. I dipped my free hand into the hoodie’s pocket for warmth, a little worried about Kota and Gabriel alone in the house after we left. I supposed if they were together, it would be fine, especially if Luke was the one doing the pranking. I pulled my phone from where I kept it in my bra. “Should I text Kota about the one on his window?”

  “Let me handle it,” North said, but nodded his head toward the path. “Let’s hurry so I can get back.”

  I was worried, though. That was a very, very Volto-like threat. If Luke had done this, it was a horrible prank. If it was him, I’d be disappointed in him for doing such a thing, knowing we were already stressed about Mr. McCoy and with everything else going on.

  As we walked down the path, my thoughts kept going to the masks. After several encounters, I had no clue who Volto could be. I’d gone through my own list of suspects, but even then, the clues never added up.

  I thought about the day we went to get outfitted for the Halloween homecoming dance. Luke had been there. We had all been separated at one point or another. Luke had plenty of time to himself. Alone. We hadn’t been able to figure out how Volto knew we were there. It seemed Volto had stolen Kota’s car.

  Luke had keys for his car. He could have moved it. Did we bother to look for it? Or did we get too spooked seeing Volto masks and ran for it too soon?

  And then on the night of the dance, Volto had pranked our outfits, so they’d glowed with his masked face.

  And then he’d managed to work out our radio system, and had assisted us with finding McCoy who was talking to Hendricks in secret.

  I hadn’t seen a lot of Luke that night. There were times he was missing, but it was a dance, so I hadn’t thought about it.

  I thought about it now. There were more instances, and I was thinking up scenarios where it might have been possible that Luke could have planned such things. Was Luke using Volto’s masks as a way to prank us all without ever owning up to it? Would he do such a thing?

  Or…no. I couldn’t consider it. While I might not know who Volto was, it couldn’t be…

  I pressed my lips together, and kept my eyes on the leaves at our feet, smothering the idea.

  Not Luke. Not him. Couldn’t be.

  ELUDED

  North emerged from the woods first, checking the parking lot before letting me go on.

  “No cars I recognize,” he said. “But put the hood up. Let’s not take the risk.”

  We were in view of the highway as well. While further in the street, you could see any new and unidentified cars coming, the diner was a more dangerous place to try to get to, even though it was close.

  I pulled the hood over my head, having to tilt to see out since it fell over my forehead. North put a palm against my scalp through the material and rubbed once, released me and then nudged me forward.

  He led the way to the back door, unlocking it with a key and then holding it open to allow me to go inside ahead of him. I glanced once at the cars and the street. Nothing interesting.

  We went down a narrow hallway that led to an office, what was once the minister’s office in the former church but was now where Uncle did his paperwork.

  North sat down heavily in a wood and leather rolling office chair behind a desk, facing the computer. The desk was dark wood, in sharp contrast to the off-white walls and beige utility carpet. There was a faded beige and brown plaid couch along the wall, and a shelving unit behind the computer chair, similar to the ones in the pantry, only this one held paperwork and folders and a small printer. Nothing elegant, simply functional. The only decoration was a Virgin Mary painting on a very small canvas, framed in gold above the door; another leftover from the church that didn’t get removed.

  I lingered near North, not wanting to stray too far. I hadn’t seen anyone on the way in, but I could hear the clank of dishes and the low murmur of customers through the walls. The diner wasn’t too busy at the moment, but there was a whole lot of clanking coming from the kitchen.

  “I just want to clear his sc
hedule,” North said, typing at the computer. “I may go ahead and give him the week off. That’s a good break.”

  “Are you going to have to take over the shifts?”

  “Not all of them.”

  I went to the couch, sitting quietly on the edge of it, pulling back the hood. My nose wrinkled at the smell of must from the couch. Couldn’t they have gotten a new one? Maybe the next time I worked here, I could bring in some cleaner. “I could help,” I said.

  “No, you should focus on Luke. That’s more important.”

  I agreed, but I was still feeling a bit weird. This was a little intrusive of Uncle’s business. We didn’t really have permission. “Doesn’t Uncle wonder why I seem to disappear all the time? Sometimes for a week?”

  “Yeah,” he said, “but he knows there’s Academy people working here. They come and go all the time.”

  “But I’m not Academy.”

  North blew a breath out from between his lips and looked up at me. “Luke just tells him you’re busy with school. I vouch for you, too. Don’t worry. He’s not going to fire you.”

  I shifted my feet against the carpet, but stayed quiet. It was my first real job and I couldn’t help but want to do the right thing, be a good employee. Uncle was nice enough to let me babysit the register on slow days and do small projects around the place. Not many bosses would let you disappear for a week or more and then pop in again.

  North stood and stabbed a forefinger at the Enter key. “Done. I guess. I never know if this software actually works. Sometimes it deletes what I’ve done.”

  I got up slowly, smoothing the hem of the hoodie down over my hips. “Should Victor upgrade it?” I asked. “Or fix it?”

  “We’re lucky we’ve got it at all. Luke and I talked Uncle into it. He wanted to us a paper-based schedule. Only with our crew, the schedule gets reworked a lot. Pages got torn, it looked a mess.” He stepped around the desk and headed toward the door.

  “Do you like working at the diner?” I asked, standing to follow him.

  He turned at the door, taking a step back toward me and tilted his head. “What? Why are you asking?”