Love's Cruel Redemption Read online

  Silas snorted shortly into the phone but then spoke to his father. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” Pause. “Look, we’ll talk when you get back. But I think we need to look into finding someone else to go on jobs with you.” Another pause. “I don’t know who.”

  “Don’t you have cousins?” Nathan asked. “If he wants someone that bad, let’s fly them in.”

  “What about the cousins?” Silas said. Pause. “Sure, sure. Look, if you call one of them in, I’ll make sure he gets here. We’ll get him a visa and everything.”

  There was a bit more of this. Nathan listened, but while he did, he started back up the ladder. He fiddled with the vent cover, putting it back on.

  “Okay,” Silas said after a minute. “I think that’s good. Hey, good idea about the cousins.”

  “I’m here to help,” Nathan said. “You coming over?”

  “In a bit,” he said. “He wants to talk about which cousins. He’s not totally happy, but helping out family works.” He paused again. “This might take a while.”

  “Take your time. Family first, right?”

  Silas agreed, said goodbye, and hung up.

  Nathan put his phone down on the top of the ladder and then waited, looking at it.

  Charlie would still want Silas to take on the family business, but Silas was going to have to eventually put his foot down and tell him he wasn’t interested.

  Some family situations were a bit more delicate to handle for them.

  Kota arrived through the back sliding glass door just as Nathan was working on the volume levels. Nathan looked up from the tablet he was making the adjustments on and pulled the earbud out of his left ear. “Hey,” he said.

  Kota made a face that looked like an attempt at a smile but then lost it quickly. “You’re set up?”

  “Almost,” Nathan said. “What do you think Danielle and Marie are up to?”

  “Nothing good,” Kota said. “It’s what I was thinking about on the drive here, trying to guess what they could want. I mean, besides thinking about what to say to my mom...”

  Nathan sighed and shook his head. He was going to say this was probably a bad time to be approaching Erica with the truth, but was there ever a good time? “I feel bad for lying to her.”

  “Me, too.”

  Nathan lips twitched. “If we both feel bad, it was the wrong decision. I know why we did it at the time, but now...”

  Kota shrugged, the green hoodie bulking a bit around his shoulders. He sighed. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot.”

  Kota avoided looking him in the eyes. “I was thinking about it on the way back. I don’t want to tell her because...I’m not sure I’m okay with this.”

  Nathan lowered the tablet. “I didn’t make her do anything...”

  Kota looked up sharply, slicing a hand through the air. “No, I know. I don’t mean that. I mean...” He pushed his hand to his face, covering part of it so the next words were muffled. “I’m uncomfortable when I think about you...or the others with her. I didn’t even want to leave her at Victor’s just now when I know what could possibly be happening. The others took to this so easily. Why am I still uncomfortable?”

  Nathan motioned to Kota to sit on the couch. Kota did, and Nathan sat on the coffee table in front of him so he could face him. He coughed once, in a way working up the courage to just tell him outright. “It’s a wild idea. Not everyone was sure at the beginning. I didn’t know how to feel about it at first. But...a while back, Sang let me read her journal. That one that’s all coded in a Korean alphabet?”

  “You read it?”

  “I asked her if I could,” he said. “I kind of wanted practice being able to read it. Thought it might be useful.” He pressed his hands to the wood of the table as he leaned in a bit. “But in it, she said a lot that all she wanted was to be normal. Like a normal life.”

  “Doesn’t surprise me,” Kota said, “given the life she had.”

  “I know,” he said. “But this isn’t normal. And I can’t get over how that’s something she wanted and she’ll probably not get.” He pressed a palm over his heart. “I care about her, okay? I wouldn’t force her into something she didn’t want. But sometimes, I feel like the others got an idea in their heads and she’s just doing it...because it’s what we want. Or she thinks we want it.”

  Kota pressed his lips together, nodding, saying nothing. He nudged at the corner of his glasses, but it was clear he was giving it considerable thought.

  After a few minutes, Nathan sat back. He looked around the room, at places where Sang used to sit on the floor near the TV when they played video games together. Then over at the hallway, as if expecting Sang would turn the corner and appear, like she used to, just out of bed and with crazy hair. He missed it.

  “I agree with you,” Kota said finally, drawing back Nathan’s attention. “We need to be level-headed enough to figure out if this is really what Sang would want.” He looked at Nathan, his green eyes dark. “But if she does want this, we...have to figure out if we want to do this, too.”

  “Would you?” Nathan asked. “If she really did?”

  Kota closed his eyes and then pressed his palms over his face, completely covering it. His glasses lifted up to his hair. “God, I don’t know. I care about her, too. But I don’t know if I can continue with it if every time I drop her off somewhere or leave her with someone else, I still carry this same feeling. I don’t want to end up always dreading it, always resenting you all for being around her when I can’t.”

  “I know,” Nathan said grimly. “I felt it all week. While she’s at your house.”

  Kota dropped his hands from his face and repositioned his glasses. “You had her for so long, in this house. I was pretty sure...for a while, I was so dead sure she was going to tell me one day she was dating you.”

  “There were times I thought the same about the others,” Nathan said. “Like when she went overnight with North at a hotel. Or spent the night at Victor’s with him. Any time she isn’t with me...”

  Kota shifted on the couch and took up the tablet Nathan had placed on the coffee table. He looked at it, making his own adjustments to the volume levels of the microphones. “I told her I’d take her to see Lily the psychologist. I know we need to encourage it. I just want to make sure we’re not...” He let out another big sigh.

  “I won’t deter Sang if this is what she wants,” Nathan said. “But I want to have Lily make sure, without any of our influences, what Sang really wants. I also want to be prepared in case she does and she’s serious about it.”

  “It’s a good idea. It’s all we can really do. Just...to make sure.”

  Nathan agreed. “I’ll go if I can, but I don’t know what will happen here with Danielle and Marie.” He paused. “If something does that prevents me leaving, you’ll have to go alone.”

  “Then I’ll go,” Kota said.

  Nathan pressed his lips together tightly and nodded. “And you want to wait to talk to your mom when you actually know...”

  “For now,” Kota said. “I don’t want her in the middle of it until we know for sure.” Kota leaned in this time, his voice deepening. “Because if we get involved in this, it won’t be outside people tearing us apart, telling us it’s stupid, that will get to us. It’ll be my mom. It’ll be Pam or Uncle. People we care about.”

  “Your mom might not,” Nathan said. “She’s pretty...you know...easygoing.”

  “She’ll say Sang is sixteen, and we’re all young and will have lots of girlfriends before we get married and this is a phase,” Kota said. “I could probably tell her I was gay before telling her my girlfriend wants to date other guys at the same time. She’ll think Sang’s trying to take advantage of us somehow, I’m sure.”

  Nathan struggled with the idea of Erica saying exactly that. “She’s not.”

  “I know she’s not,” Kota said. “But we have to be absolutely sure we’re in on this before we even start to convince anyone else.”
r />   “And what if we can’t?” Nathan asked.

  Kota fell silent. He lowered his head, focusing instead on the tablet.

  Nathan didn’t expect an answer. He was asking if he’d choose between his mother or Sang. It was an unfair question.

  Nathan hadn’t considered how much the others might be sacrificing when it came to family life. For him, it was easier on that front, even if he struggled with the whole idea in the first place.

  How did Luke or some of the others come to the idea so easily? How did they just willingly do it?

  Small Thrills

  Sang

  North and Luke left the bathroom, while Gabriel and I soaked in the tub. Gabriel scrubbed his face, patchy with a bit of pink here and there after he’d ripped the masque off. “Any black bits left?”

  I checked. “Nope. Do I need one of those?”

  “You want one? It’s okay. I’m not sure if it does—” He felt his face, a little less rough, and smoothed his fingers over his cheeks and nose. “Oh hey, it’s like softer, I guess.”

  I reached for his cheek, brushing my fingertips across it. It was soft, but I wasn’t aware if it was different from before. “The way you had to yank at it, I was wondering if you weren’t going to pull out hair. You know, like waxing.”

  He moved over closer and lifted my legs up, scooting them over his knees like before. “Have you done any waxing before?”

  His hand was on my calf, and he slid it up to my knee and left it there. He wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, drawing me in, and his eyes fell right on my lips.

  Excitement electrified me. “What if they walk in?” I asked.

  He shrugged and then smiled. “I’ll listen. If they open the door, I’ll stop. That okay?”

  I nodded.

  He leaned in, kissing gently at my lips once. He backed off just an inch and whispered. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too,” I said.

  He leaned in more, his arm behind me tugging me close. My arms went around his shoulders, partially to hang on to him in the slippery tub.

  He kept my thighs tightly to him as he leaned into a deep kiss. His tongue trailed into my mouth and I accepted it.

  Kissing and knowing the others were near was something I was getting used to. I was listening, like he said he’d do. I needed to be better about doing that anyway.

  After a minute of kissing, he backed off, his hand on my leg trailing from my thigh to my knee and back. His big crystal blue eyes seemed to soak in my face and then lower to my neck.

  I didn’t know what he was thinking, but he paused there, hovering a bit. My focus shifted to my leg since he was rubbing, and I noticed the hair there, which I hadn’t thought about when he started. “Yeah, I know I need to shave,” I said with a small smile. His staring at my neck was making me anxious. “Maybe I should use a waxing kit. But it looks like it hurts.”

  “Do you prefer to shave, then?”

  “Not that I’ve tried other things, but that’s what I do now.”

  His gaze lifted to meet my eyes, and he cocked a brow. “Hey, I can do that. If you want.”

  I blinked rapidly. I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that. “Is that...what?”

  He smoothed his hand over my thigh again and then those eyes brightened more. “Stay here. I’ll find a razor. I’ll be right back.”

  He left me in the tub, jumping over the edge, creating a sloshy trail of bubbles and water across the titles to the sink. He checked underneath, finding one of their kits and a plastic blue razor. “Do we even have girl razors?” he asked, twirling the razor in his fingers. “Are those better?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve never really used them.” I pointed to the one he was holding. “My dad bought those in bulk. Marie and I just took a couple for ourselves when needed.”

  “We should experiment,” he said as he came back. “Let’s try different ones.” He climbed onto the edge of the tub and eased himself in. “Give me a leg.”

  I giggled, but honestly it seemed better to do when we knew Luke and North could walk in at any moment. Luke may have been okay, but with North? I remembered he felt this new relationship was difficult and I wanted to help him as much as possible.

  Gabriel lifted one of my legs into his lap, but then had us sit on top of the tub instead of in it, because of all the suds. We were getting a little prune-like anyway.

  I sat on the edge of the tub, leaning back on my hands as he took a leg into his lap. He trailed the edge of the razor along my skin, being very gentle.

  It was an odd sensation. I was a stack of nerves, worried about having someone else with a sharp object next to my skin. I knew how much it could hurt if it sliced or nicked.

  But also, with the way he was going slow and smoothing his palm over my skin after every stroke of the razor, there were sensations running through me I wasn’t expecting. I liked it.

  When he finished, he ran his hands over my legs again. “How’s that?” he asked.

  I nodded, with my lips parted but unable to speak. It felt intimate, only I wasn’t sure how to express it.

  He smoothed his hands over my knees and looked up at me. He smirked. “That good, huh? Maybe us guys should take up shaving our legs.”

  I giggled. “Do you want to try it?”

  He cocked an eyebrow and seemed to consider it. “Maybe I should. Doesn’t hurt, right?”

  “Not unless you nick the skin,” I said.

  He presented the end of the razor to me. “I trust you.”

  I giggled again but took the razor. He turned himself a bit to be able to present me with a leg.

  I started around his ankle, going halfway up his calf before stopping. His hair was longer than mine, so I had to swish the razor in the tub often to clear it.

  Gabriel shivered, and he shoved an arm around his chest, holding at his shoulder. “Holy hell.”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant, and I stopped, razor ready to continue.

  He laughed and released his chest. “It’s weird when someone else does it for you, I think.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I noticed.” I used the razor again, making a straight line from his ankle to his calf. “You know what we should do after your legs are shaved?”

  “What?”

  “We should find if Victor has some satin sheets,” I said.

  “What happens in satin sheets?”

  The excitement inside me bubbled over, and I laughed. I’d gotten some sheets like that a couple of years ago, one of the Christmas presents my dad had gotten all of us. I didn’t use them often but remembered the feel of shaved legs on cool sheets and that sensation. It was nice to be able to share it.

  It took longer to finish up Gabriel’s legs. After, he inspected what I had done and kept rubbing his hands over his calves. “It’s cold now.”

  “We’re just out of the bath,” I said. I put the razor aside. “Let’s get on bath robes.”

  “I want to try the silk sheet thing. Let’s find some.”

  We put on robes from Victor’s closet to keep ourselves warm and then found the sheets in the hall closet. We stripped the bed completely, leaving the old sheets on the floor. Gabriel climbed over the bed putting the corners together.

  Once a top sheet and the pillows had been redone, he stood next to me and asked. “Now what?”

  “Now get in,” I said. “You do it. Without the robe though.”

  He took it off but his boxers were still wet. He looked over at the closet and then at me. “Turn around.”

  I giggled but turned my head, even closing my eyes. The only sound was of sheets sliding around and his weight lowering into the bed.

  “Shit, it’s cold,” he said.

  Checking over my shoulder, he was lying still with his arms across his chest. “Swish your legs around,” I said.

  “What?”

  “Slide your legs.”

  “It’s cold.”

  “Just do it.”

&nb
sp; He did, and then like a lightbulb going off, he brightened up, almost sitting up. “Holy shit.”

  “I was right, huh?”

  He swished his legs around, creating a slight whispering noise every time he did. He brightened and kept doing it. “Man, Luke has to try this.”

  “Try what?” Luke’s voice came in from behind me.

  I turned, and Luke was carrying a tray with hamburgers and fries on plates, and ice cream on the side in small bowls. North was behind him, holding another tray, kicking the door closed.

  North took a look over at Gabriel and me and then his lips twisted oddly. “How is it I show up and you’re all always doing something weird?”

  “Luke,” Gabriel called out. He sat up, keeping the sheet against his waist and reaching for the robe. “Go shave your legs. You’ve got to try this. Sang, turn around again.” I did, focusing on North and Luke. The guys kept looking over my shoulder over at where Gabriel was.

  “You shaved?” North asked.

  “Sang did it to me.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  “I want Sang to shave my legs,” Luke said.

  “No,” North said. “No more weird shit right now.” He put the tray of food on the piano. “Can we just sit and eat a minute? I’ve got a headache.”

  I felt we might be pushing it a little, so I kept the robe tight around my body and nodded. “Yeah, let’s eat.”

  North had us eat on the bed with the trays he brought up. “I don’t want you three in your robes out where a maid can just walk by. Not without Victor here. Not that he’d be able to explain you three.”

  “I thought the maid was okay,” I said.

  “She’s safe, but she’s still going to report anything weird to Mr. and Mrs. Morgan,” North said. “It’s their house.” He took his shoes off and sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed. He motioned to me to sit next to him.

  I crawled onto the bed in front of him. Luke and Gabriel sat nearby, sharing their tray between them.

  I picked at the food on North’s tray, splitting with him. It was quiet for a moment as people started on their food, but then North spoke. “Luke says Erica’s on to us?” he asked.