Love's Cruel Redemption (The Ghost Bird Series) Page 35

  And despite my brain telling me picking none might help them all, I couldn’t get myself to do it. My heart wouldn’t let me.

  So what was left?

  But I couldn’t stand this. I couldn’t take it.

  “I can’t ask you all,” I said, going back to it. “I don’t want to leave, even if I should.”

  “Don’t.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Don’t,” he said again. He rocked gently with me in his lap. “You’re not going anywhere, Trouble. You’re my Trouble, remember? And if it feels wrong, it’s the wrong thing to do.”

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “You stay. And you help us find a way to make it happen.” He pulled back to look at me. “Because the alternative...that’s not what we want.”

  “It’s not fair for me to ask you all to only date,” I said. “That’s just...”

  “What we were considering,” Gabriel said. “This was the plan. From the get go. We want to stay with you. We weren’t interested in anyone else, which is why we’re agreeing to it. It isn’t about going without. It’s because we want you with us. We want to be with you, because of how you make us feel.” He grumbled low and then burst. “Fuck, Sang, we all love the shit out of you.”

  My lips quivered and my face ached as I tried to not cry again, for his sake. “Nathan didn’t want to. Silas...”

  “They do,” he said. “He was just here trying to kill me to get to you. He fucked up...”

  “That wasn’t him messing up,” I said. “It was Danielle.”

  “He still shouldn’t have let it get that far. We were just about to break it up when you walked in.” He grumbled again and sighed. “We knew he didn’t want to do any of that. They said they knew about your real mom and he was willing to do anything to get what you wanted to know. And we didn’t stop him. It’s my fault, too. He’d do anything for any of us.”

  I sniffed, wiping at my face. “We need to find him.” I moaned and then touched his cheek, examining the damage. “We need you to get to the doctor.”

  “You can’t go naked,” he said. “Let me get stitched up. Then we’ll find him.”

  His promise to help, what he was saying, it spurred just enough energy in me to move forward. I swallowed thickly, repeatedly, trying to get around what I was feeling, that I was putting those feelings on them.

  Everything we’d been through together, they’d do it all and more to be with me.

  I’d do anything for them.

  He nudged me to get up so he could as well. He went to the second room, the smaller one, where there were more clothes. He passed me one of the bags, one marked in pink.

  I opened it, spilling out the contents onto the floor to sort out. The notebook I’d been using as a journal between them fell out on top of clothing and other items. I picked it up, the page opening automatically to where I was last writing.

  When it was clear I was distracted from getting dressed, he turned to look at what I was doing. “What’s that?”

  “I was being dumb,” I said, dropping it to the floor. It landed face open on the carpet. “I was writing rules for the relationship...stuff I was hearing from the others.”

  He picked it up, looking over the page. “You only wrote one.”

  “I wasn’t sure what to put for the rest. Kota said relationships like this get complicated and we probably needed to figure out the boundaries, the rules.”

  Gabriel’s face hardened. “What does it say? I’m not that great with your Korean lettering yet.”

  I shrugged. “Something like, no line of sight. No kissing in front of the others basically.”

  He dug into one of the bags and he took out a pen. He wrote something below what I’d written.

  When he finished, he showed it to me.

  Rule two: Sang’s the only one.

  My lower lip quivered. It felt selfish.

  But his intense crystal gaze was steady on my face. He dropped the pen and put a hand over his heart. “Because I want to.”

  I shook, looking at what he’d written.

  Suddenly I dropped everything else, scooped up the pen, took the notebook from him.

  I scribbled out the numbers. I wanted to rewrite it all but then just added below what he’d written.

  Rule one: Just us.

  I wrote their names after that, mine included. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing it. Simply reestablishing what we already knew.

  It was just us. That’s how it had to be.

  Just Us

  Once Gabriel and I were dressed, I kept the bookbag with me to carry the notebook and we left to go back to Nathan’s house.

  When we arrived, the front door was hanging open.

  Gabriel put himself ahead of me, peeking around the corner and looking in.

  Voices came from the living room. First it was just Victor. It was followed by North.

  Uh oh.

  I urged Gabriel in before North had too long to get upset by anything that Victor told him. Gabriel shut the front door first before going in further.

  North was standing near the coffee table. Victor and Silas were sitting on the couch.

  Dr. Green was by the back door, looking out toward the pool.

  The moment we crossed the threshold, North picked up his head, his face contorted with rage suddenly became confused.

  I wanted to go to him, but resisted. I simply stood by, swallowing quietly and waiting.

  The others stood, looking at me.

  Gabriel came up behind me and put an arm around me and a hand on my shoulder. He squeezed me to him gently. “Is Nathan here?”

  North looked back at the others before returning his dark eyes to me and answering. “He’s gone. He took off in Kota’s car.”

  I pressed my lips hard together and looked down. I shouldn’t have waited. I needed to but he needed me more. “Tell me we can track him?” I croaked out.

  Footsteps behind us at the door shook us all out of our glum state, aware, cautious.

  Luke came in, followed by Kota.

  With Mr. Blackbourne coming in behind them. No tie. No coat. The collar of his shirt undone.

  My body shook without prompting. They were all here. They all knew.

  Mr. Blackbourne took one look at me, and he nudged Kota and Luke out of his way.

  I stood still, ready.

  Gabriel moved aside and Mr. Blackbourne picked up my chin, holding it steady.

  I looked at him with blurry eyes. “We have to find him,” I said as steady as I could.

  With a determination, his eyes turned into sharp steel. He kept his gaze on me but he spoke to the others. “We will. Won’t we?”

  “Drag him back by his ears if I have to,” North said.

  Mr. Blackbourne spoke, “And we’re not going to have a discussion about him going to Lily before.” He released me to look over my head at the others. “And we’re not going to blame him for what happened here.”

  “We’re not going to blame him,” I said, before anyone else could say anything. When I looked around, the others seemed to agree with me. Resolute expressions all around.

  “It’s likely he’s just driving without a place in mind,” Mr. Blackbourne said, moving away from me. He pulled his phone out and started checking at maps. “He’d return when he calmed down. But I still want an organized search.”

  Mr. Blackbourne went over the major roads, starting from Summerville and going inward into Charleston. He pointed out likely spots he might stop along the way. Connections with the police department were open, just in case of an accident.

  The idea he could get into an accident after all of this scared me. If Nathan was very upset, would he crash?

  Just a precaution, I tried to tell myself. But I was terrified he thought to do this.

  Kota lingered with me while the others got to work planning routes.

  I reached for his hand, holding it. “Do you know anywhere he might have gone?”

  “Before,
I would have said to you,” he said, frowning. He turned to me. His glasses were a little dirty around the edges. His eyes had dark circles. He squeezed my hand back. “Or he might go to one of our houses. But after this...”

  And we were in his home, a place he should have been able to retreat to. Only he didn’t come here.

  “Someone should wait for him here,” I said.

  “I will,” Kota said.

  My lips twitched. I wanted to say more. To thank him for staying behind. I didn’t think I could sit in the house and wait.

  Within minutes, I was out in Mr. Blackbourne’s car, but with Victor’s plate on the back. Victor drove, with Luke in the back. They’d given me a pack: bottle of water, chips, bottle of coffee, a banana. Food for the road so we didn’t have to stop.

  The others had split up in various cars. We were to take the highway and check the off ramps and the gas stations along the way.

  Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green took another main road in Dr. Green’s car, taking Gabriel to get stitched before continuing on. Silas and North took the black SUV through county roads and rural areas around the city.

  I sat up front next to Victor, the food in my lap untouched. My stomach was twisted too hard to eat.

  The route Victor took seemed to take forever. Stopping at every exit to check the gas stations, combing the streets. I sent texts constantly to Kota, to North and the others.

  Did you find him yet?

  Any word?

  Where is he?

  I hovered over my cell phone. Luke hung over the back of my seat.

  “He’ll show up,” Luke said. “He’s just upset.”

  “We’re all upset,” Victor said. “But he’s right, Sang. Don’t worry. He’ll come back.”

  I swallowed thickly, looking out the window. I wanted to believe them.

  It was the last moment I saw him, the anguish in his face. I couldn’t get rid of that memory. It was stronger than the memory of Danielle and him now.

  I’d screamed at him. I meant for him to stay. Only he ran.

  I scared him.

  If he got into a wreck, it’d be my fault.

  Luke reached around, rubbing my shoulders and massaging. He did it quietly, and while I appreciate it, my mind was still deep in wondering where Nathan had gone.

  Victor’s phone rang. He looked at it once and then hit a button to silence it, leaving it in the dash. “My parents. They need to wait.”

  “What would they want now?” Luke asked.

  “Who knows,” Victor said. He waved off the phone, looking over at me. “This is more important.”

  Luke sighed, releasing me to sit back in his seat. “We need the house, Victor. We need to be out. So we don’t have to slow down for your parents.”

  Victor breathed in through his nose and then out of his mouth. “Yeah. And...I’ve looked at some options. It’ll take time, but after all this, I think they’ll all see how badly we need this. We just need to pick a spot.”

  I was looking out the wide window as Victor rolled to a stop for a red light. We’d just pulled off the highway again. “We need to be careful. Because of Volto.”

  “I don’t want to wait on Volto,” Luke said.

  “Me, either,” Victor said. He reached over to me and took my hand. “We can’t wait.”

  They were right. After last night, his warning, he showed he could get away with what he wanted. He’d lie. He’d terrify us. He’d try to kill Nathan. He had to be stopped.

  “What did Danielle and Marie end up saying, anyway?” Luke asked. “Did they actually have info?”

  Victor coughed and then squeezed my hand. “I made them tell me what they were holding back after the pictures. Danielle didn’t want to, not until I took her phone and threatened to post everything to the internet if she didn’t comply.”

  My eyes widened. “You did that?”

  He smirked and shrugged. “I could still do it. After I delete all the photos she took of Nathan and her together. Which reminds me. Next stop, I want to get that done.”

  Luke nudged him in the shoulder. “But what did she say? About Sang?”

  “She didn’t know the name. She only knew where they could find it. Marie said there might be information somewhere in the house, but she remembered finding an old book with a photo. An old sepia tone photo or something that had your dad standing next to someone else. Not your mom, not your grandmother. Someone younger.”

  “Where is this photo?” Luke asked.

  “She hasn’t seen it in years,” Victor said. “But she remembered there was something written on the back. She thought it was a name.”

  I hadn’t run into any photos like that. We had very few photos in the house at all. “I wonder if it is in all that junk in the shed. Or maybe my dad has it.”

  “Sounds like something their family would keep secret,” Luke said. “I’m surprised it wasn’t destroyed.”

  Victor nodded, and then his phone on the dash vibrated. He checked it again. He groaned and threw it back. “My mom. Ignore it.”

  “Maybe you should answer so she’ll stop calling,” Luke said.

  Victor seemed to think about it and did. He stayed on the phone as he drove.

  I was sort of grateful for it. It left me room to think, but I had to put it all aside for now.

  I’d deal with it later. Nathan was more important.

  He was who mattered now.

  I’d give the information back and forget it forever, if I could just make everything okay again.

  What a Team Is

  Nathan

  Nathan entered Lily’s white house in the middle of nowhere. It’d taken him hours to figure out to come here after the fight with Gabriel. He’d stopped a few places, off of main roads, just to sit in the car and try to figure out what to do next.

  And here he was, hours later, looking at Liam, looking for answers, help, anything.

  Help him save their group from splitting.

  Help him stop what could be the biggest disaster of his life. He’d messed up enough. He needed to know what to do. There had to be someone who could help him fix what he’d done.

  Liam looked him over, at the blood on Nathan’s hands, dried up now and mostly flaked away but still there. The bruises and split lip at his face, the messed up clothes...He was a wreck.

  “Maybe you should clean up,” Liam said. “Then we can talk.”

  “I want to talk now,” Nathan said. He couldn’t control his shaking. He was running on fumes, hungry, tired, worn down. But he couldn’t stop. The foyer to the home was all hard surfaces, and his voice echoed through the space. “I messed up.”

  Liam painfully looked up the steps and then back at Nathan. “Fine, but come with me.”

  He led Nathan to the right, through a set of double doors. It was some sort of formal room, a library or office of some sort. There were two sets of sofas facing each other, a table between them. A fireplace was along the back wall, unlit. There were shelves of books around him, built-ins on every other wall.

  “I’d offer for you to sit on the couches,” Liam said, “but don’t be offended if I say you should sit here.” He pulled a chair that was near the desk away from it, offering it to him. “Easier to clean.”

  He didn’t even want to sit, but he did. His body ached as he bent down. He’d spent hours in the car alone. He winced and leaned forward as he sat.

  Liam sat on the coffee table so he could look at him. The room had a bit of a chill, coming perhaps from the unlit fireplace. The lights overhead were off, the only light coming from a couple of lamps in the corners.

  Somehow this new place was intimidating, perhaps because of all the white surfaces. He wasn’t sure who else was here. The rest of the house was quiet.

  Liam leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and waited. “Well?” he asked. “What’s the problem?”

  “Shouldn’t I be talking to Lily?” Nathan asked. “I...heard I was supposed to talk to her.”

  “Talk t
o me, first,” Liam said. He pressed a palm to his own chest. “I’m right here. But I think I know what this is about.”

  “You’re...”

  “One of her husbands,” he said and showed him the ring on his left hand.

  One of.

  He was like them. Maybe this was better. He could understand not wanting to wake Lily to talk to some crazy person walking in bloodied and insane. He’d do the same thing for Sang. He’d want to make sure the person wouldn’t hurt her before even bothering.

  Nathan told him everything. The whole story from what started a few days ago. He’d told pieces of it to other people, but never the full of it. Not how he felt about Sang. Not how the relationship had troubled him from the start. He rambled on for a good long while, sometimes jumping back in time, to before he knew about the relationship, but he tried to stick to what happened within the last few weeks.

  “So I ran out after she yelled at me,” he said at the end of it all. He dropped his shoulders, looking at the floor. “I’m sure they all think I did it on purpose. Getting into a fight like that? Over her? Hurting him so bad? I’ll be kicked out for sure.”

  “But you didn’t do it on purpose,” Liam said. He’d asked a few questions of him from the moment Nathan started talking, but for the most part he let him rattle on. “I know you’re worried, but you know the Academy doesn’t operate like that. And your friends, since they are Academy, they don’t react to just how things looked. We listen. We listen to your side, your intent.”

  Nathan swallowed thickly. He knew that. “That might not make it better.”

  Liam shook his head and smirked a bit. “Are you kidding? Intent makes the difference between someone being convicted of murder or let off for self-defense. Don’t tell me context and intent don’t matter. That’s what we do.”

  “I don’t mean that part. I mean...I mean she was so mad at me.”

  “Are you telling me she’s the type of person who won’t listen to you if you’re trying to tell her the truth?”

  “No...”

  “So are you telling me Sang isn’t an understanding person? That she lacks sympathy for anything that doesn’t reflect what she initially wanted to believe?”